


We Were Always Meant to Say Goodbye.

by skaihxda



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Bring tissues, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Pain, Post-Season/Series 03, Sad, i am not paying for your therapy, ive never cried this much before in my entire life, joyce writes hopper a letter, sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24983932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaihxda/pseuds/skaihxda
Summary: Joyce writes Hopper a letter after his ''death'', telling him all the things she should've said.
Relationships: Joyce Byers & Jim "Chief" Hopper, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	We Were Always Meant to Say Goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys, again this is nothing huge, just an idea that popped into my head so i figured i'd share my pain with everyone lol
> 
> this one's for the jopper trash gc over on twitter, i love you guys so much and im sorry in advance for traumatizing you all x
> 
> (as always, be nice to me lmao i suck at writing)

_Hop,_

_I have to tell you, I have no idea why I'm writing this. You're gone, so it's not like you're ever gonna read it. Maybe I'm doing this, hoping I'll stop seeing you every time I close my eyes. Maybe I'm doing this, hoping it'll give me closure. Maybe I'll finally be able to sleep at night._

_I love you. So much. I probably loved you even before I knew what love was. To be honest, I don't think those feelings ever went away.... even after everything. I should've told you that a long time ago, I know that, but I suppose I was scared. Not scared that you didn't feel the same way, because I know you did, but scared of how I felt. I was scared of letting myself feel something so deep. Scared that I was gonna mess it up and break both you and myself in the process._

_Truth is, I've never loved anyone the way I love you. Not Bob, and certainly not Lonnie. That probably makes me a horrible person, but it is what it is. After Will went missing, I felt like we were getting somewhere. Like we could finally try again. But then you found El and started pulling away. I waited, but you pulled further and further away. Back then, I didn't know why and it hurt like hell. Of course, I now understand why you did it, but there's still a part of me that really wish you'd told me. Maybe things would be different now if you did. Maybe not. When you asked me out, I guess a part of me was scared that you were gonna start pulling away again. That I was gonna lose you. I know that's stupid, but better safe than sorry, I suppose?_

_Anyway, standing you up was a mistake. One I've come to regret more often than not. I keep thinking that if I'd done this or that, things would've turned out differently. I keep seeing myself flipping those switches, and I keep wondering if there was another way. What makes the guilt worse, is knowing that these are things I'll never get to say to you. I'd give anything to go back and do things differently, I truly would. There's so many things I wish I'd done.... So many things I wish I'd say._

_I love you, Hop. I sucked at showing it. But the only thing I can do now is hope that you knew somehow. I really hope you did._

_\- Joyce_

\------------------------

Joyce puts the pen down and folds the paper as she walks over to her nightstand. She picks up the picture she keeps of him and opens the picture frame, and hides the letter safely behind the picture.

_She hopes he knew._


End file.
